I Floated One in the Tub

My best friend. I can’t remember a time that he isn’t there. That time in 6th Grade that I got spanked for throwing snowballs at the building, he was there. Being chased up trees by my older brother and his friends, he was there. When I kissed his sister, he was there. (In fact, he is responsible for my wife and I meeting at a teen dance, "How I Met Your Mother"). I am around 7 years old, maybe 8, well, not more than 10 years old, and he is going over to his cousin’s house for the day. He asks his dad if I can come since his sister would have the cousin to play with and all was good. A nice summer day, plenty of dirt & trees, plenty of trouble, good times. Evening approaches and because the cousin lives in a trailer, we are told that, “Hot water is limited and we will have to double up on baths”. So, his younger sister and the female cousin have their’s first. Then it is our turn. Like I said, him and I do everything together. Come to think of it, we definitely are not older than 12, can’t quite remember. So, water is filling the tub, bubbles are growing from the shampoo. All we need now is a Rubber Duckie. I wish I can remember all the jokes we tell, they are so funny. In fact, so hilarious that I can’t keep it in and I float one in the tub. He screams, “Ewwww!” and we immediately jump out. A break in the suds reveals a brown log, glistening from the bathroom light. He looks at me and I look at him. We both know that IT is not going to go down the drain. “I’m not touching it!” we both exclaim. So we put our clothes on. What else is there to do? As a last minute reaction, I grab the cup near the sink, scoop up the solid and pour it into the toilet. I place the cup back on the counter and we walk out satisfied that no one will be the wiser. I hope that isn’t their mouth rinse cup.

How do I live with myself?

Well, laughing helps. I’m sure worse things have happened to people’s bathroom utensils. The water from the tub certainly kept it from touching the sides of the cup, right? They certainly wouldn’t have wanted us to leave it in the tub.


We never took a bath together again! And I most certainly took my own cup when I spent the night at a friend’s house after that. You never know who used the rinse cup last. Come to think of it, I only use the cups sealed in plastic in hotel rooms too.


What do the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons.


A Moment to Ponder:

Think of a time you have committed an act as a young person that you didn't tell anyone at the time; however, it would be hilariously funny now to share with others as an adult.

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